Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Facebook reader Question: "How can I get my guy to stay in bed and cuddle after sex?"

This question is from a Sexy facebook Reader:
“Dear Momma Elle, after sex my boyfriend always has to jump up and wipe/wash off any fluids, he says they dry into his pubes and pull and make him itchy.

Since he's up, there's usually no cuddling or hanging out after sex, and I really like that part. Is there anything I can do to keep him in bed longer?”
Dear Sexy Reader,

Several things come to my mind…

1. He is telling you straight up that he wants to get himself cleaned up so he will be more comfortable....but I am wondering why he doesn’t quickly come back to bed and snuggle.

2. Some guys just have an issue with body fluids and they just can’t deal with it…to them these fluids are yucky…sorry, his feelings about that probably won’t change much….again, why isn;t he coming back to bed to snuggle?
3. This is the hardest answer to deal with; he has a hard time with intimacy and the after-glow/after-party of sex is hard for him to handle.

Soooo I will give you several kinds of suggestions and we can see what starts working and try to narrow down what is the actual problem!

Just ask him, say “Honey, come back here when you are done, I want to rub your shoulders (or back or whatever).” Or just ask him if he will come back to cuddle….I am assuming that you have already tried that and it didn’t work.

Next: You can try to see if he will do some waxing and trimming of those hairs…this is how I would suggest that you go about asking him to try waxing as most men are hardly ever willing to submit to waxing/shaving their junk and surrounding area without a good reason…a VERY good reason! Lol! So I am thinking that if you go get a nice Brazilian wax, he will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it…chances are you will too, they are very nice and feel oh so incredible in your jeans!!! (If you live in the Utah County/Salt Lake area I can recommend a great place to get waxed.)

Then after he has enjoyed your waxing, bring up the subject and talk about it… ask what he would think about getting some waxing and trimming? Waxing and trimming will really help when it comes to cleaning up after sex since he is so into that kind of thing.

Another idea: see how he responds if you jump up, get a warm, wet towel and come back to bed and sexily clean him off….he might stay in bed and hang out a little longer cuddling and loving…or you could get a towel and put it next to your bed when it looks like you might be going to have sex and either you wipe him off as part of your after-sex play or you can give the towel to him to wipe off.

Lastly, and this is one that I worry about the most, he just might not do well with the level of intimacy that happens after sex…after sex everything is all together and very intimate. Laying there with your partner, talking quietly, that is a very intimate act, some people just aren’t comfortable with that. If that is your guy’s issue, you will need to talk and be very clear about what you would like to happen after sex. You need to talk directly and with I statements and say exactly how you feel when he doesn’t come back to bed.  Then let him sweetly know what you need and expect from him.

Please let me know how my suggestions work for you….

Please write me back and let me know how this works!  *****   You can comment anonymously here on the website!