FACEBOOK Reader Question: More about hymens and hymenal rings….

A Facebook Reader writes:

I'm having a partial [hymenectomy] done due to the extreme difficulty I've had inserting even my own fingers (which are very slender), tampons and recently a vibrator [into my Vagina]. Pap smears have always been painful but I never knew there could be something done about this. My doctor said my hymenal ring was thicker than normal so making some incisions in it would help. I'm not sure if she means she'll be removing part or how exactly this procedure will work.

If you wouldn't mind, would you answer a few more questions? Google has been useless for things like this.

Is your hymen a barrier or a wall of tissue that's up inside your vagina? I'd always thought it was but recently I'm not sure. I'd read about when you have sex you 'break your hymen' so this confused me.

You said it was tucked up inside the vagina, is it very far inside or more towards the opening? And should you be able to feel your cervix? I thought that was far up inside of you.

I'm so happy there's a blog like this and you're willing to answer questions. Like I said, google has been of no help at all. Thank you for being so open and full of information!

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Dear SEXY Reader,

If your doctor has seen that you have a thicker hymeneal ring than ‘normal’ then I would probably take her word for it. Sometimes that happens, just like sometimes we are born with other little things that aren’t quite ‘normal’. I say ‘normal’ because normal is different for everyone. In this case, your ‘normal’ needs a bit of adjusting it sounds like. 

Your hymen is a thin piece of tissue that is inside your vagina ‘usually’ about one third of the way between your vaginal opening and your cervix, it is ‘usually’ about the thickness of one-tenth of your eye lid. You can see then why it tears easily, especially during vigorous bike riding horseback riding, gymnastics, tampon use, finger insertion, masturbation, etc…and when the hymen is thicker, you can see why it doesn’t tear easily.  

The hymen is also NOT A BARRIER. It ‘usually’ has a hole in the middle or several holes. This allows for the natural fluids that a vagina generates to flow through it. Rarely will the hymen be thick and solid and act like a barrier, a condition like this will most likely be found out at an early age as this would cause some problems that would be noticeable.

In no way should a woman, nor anyone, judge her value as a person, a woman, or a virgin based on her hymen!

I feel that this is as criminal as judging how good a man is by the size of his penis.

Up to now, it is your doctor that knows your vagina better then you do, so now is the time for you to get to know your own vagina.  If you were to insert your finger into your vagina, also use mirrors so that you can see what you are doing, you can feel the point at which the hymen is interfering with farther insertion. Practice this, get to know your body. Yes, you can also feel your cervix, you might have to bend over more to allow for insertion farther up, but a woman should be able to feel her cervix and feel around the cervix. Your cervix will feel like an almost ripe banana and should be about ½ inch long, maybe less.    

Actually the best place to feel for these body parts is either on the toilet or propped up on your bed with lots of mirrors and pillows and good lighting.  REMEMBER to use lubricant as this will help a lot.

Picture of a normal cervix.

As I explained before, you can feel the opening in your cervix this way and this technique is used to examine for an IUD in place in the opening of the cervix. 

I would also like for you to ask your doctor exactly what she is going to do during the hymenectomy and how she is going to do it. Make her use charts and pictures. Since you will have already been exploring your own sweet vagina, this will be a very helpful conversation and you will understand it so much more!

Please feel free to respond with your questions or comments.

Can any more of my Readers share their experiences?

QUESTION: "Does sex hurt the second time?

Question: I've only had sex once, and I'm wondering if it'll hurt the second time too?

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My answer: First I feel like I want to hug you for asking such a heartfelt question. I am sorry that sex hurt the first time, sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t.

When a girl has sex for the very first time, she can experience some pain, not always, but sometimes. This is usually due to the hymen tearing.

The hymen is a membrane inside the vagina that most baby girls are born with. Not all baby girls are born with a hymen, but most are. Whether you have/had one or not is no big deal. A hymen is a membrane of skin, kind of the consistency of an eyelid, yet only half as thick. A hymen does not fully close the vagina (the tunnel to the uterus) it is like a very thin donut that sits a few inches inside the vagina. This is called the hymenal ring. For some girls the opening is small and even a very thin tampon will cause some pain, for others the opening is larger and a tampon will not cause much pain, and then there are some girls who were not born with a hymen and for these girls tampon insertion and first-time sex rarely cause pain.

Here is a picture describing the location of the hymen and the hymenal ring. – the ‘mons pubis’ is the part of your ‘vagina’ (what most people call the whole thing down there) the ‘mons pubis’ is the uppermost part, the part of your vagina that is what can be seen at your belly. The ‘anus’ is at the bottom and is also called your rectum or your ‘poop hole’.

Okay after this lesson on anatomy, let’s get back to why you experienced pain on your first sexual encounter.

The other reason that there might be pain during the first sexual intercourse encounter is due to lack of lubrication. A women’s body is made to lubricate the vagina as she gets ‘turned on’ (aroused) during sex play/foreplay. Some men are so excited and eager that they do not give their partner enough time to get really aroused. Being new to sex, you might not have realized that your body was not ready. It takes a lot more than kissing and making out to get ready for intercourse.

1^st: Be prepared and have a condom ready. Always have a condom ready and keep them in your purse and your car and anywhere else you might think of being when you want to have sex. WHY? You can get all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases! Since you are new to sex, I would suggest the lubricated kind.

2^nd : You should seriously think about birth control as an unplanned pregnancy can really mess up your life. Look up Planned Parenthood and call them for an appointment.

3^rd: Learn about your body and what makes you feel good so that you can show your partner what feels good.

4^th: Never allow your partner to enter you until you are good and ready; in other words, until you are begging to be entered. If you wait until then, you are going to be pretty moist and then along with the lubricated condom, having sex, ( your partner being inside you) should go a lot better and be a LOT less painful.

Lastly I want to say that if your first encounter was forced or was accompanied by meanness and/or any unwillingness on your part, please message me again with your contact information so that we can talk privately.

I hope that I have helped you learn more about your body and sex, please message me back and let me know how your sexual encounters are going and if indeed sex hurt the second time or if my advice helped.

Remember to invite your friends to like my facebook page so that they don’t miss out on the discussions!

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