Unpredictable and fascinating Gemini!

Marilyn Monroe, beloved Gemini

Gemini-May 22-June 21 (sign of the twins) are schizophrenic, unpredictable and fascinating! Though they will usually tell you one thing, and then go do something absolutely different, they are not being two-faced. When Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," he was probably looking at a bunch of Gemini.

This means, of course, that most Gemini are gay. Gemini homes always have closets, but it is often difficult to tell if they are coming in, or coming out of them. Or both.

Here is a joke about Gemini: Two Gemini men are walking down the street. The foxiest lady on earth walks by, and one of them sighs. The other turns to him and says "Bruce! What was that all about?!!"  And Bruce answers, "Oh, Ferdinand, she was so fabulous! For the first time in my life I wished I was a lesbian!"

Gemini also love to "chase someone till they're caught." Women Gemini, especially, love to tease, and then when the guy falls all over them drooling, she'll *forget* she was ever remotely interested.

However, Gemini tends to be very naive and gullible, so they are easily taken advantage of, especially by children. Most Gemini parents think that the new kid's fad is to sniff powder sugar. Geminis' children buy lots of insulin syringes for diabetic aunts, even when neither of their parents have sisters.

Famous people born under this sign include Marilyn Monroe, Colin Farrell, Paula Abdul, Angelina Jolie, Shai LeBeouf, Mark Wahlberg, Queen Victoria and Brigham Young. (wth?)

Facebook Reader Question: I feel that I think too much about sex.

Facebook Reader asks: "I feel I think too much about sex. [I feel I want] to cut back on this instead of [these thoughts] controlling me." and again either another reader writes, (I think that these 2 questions are from the same reader)...."[I am] trying to get help for my thoughts, [they] always end up about sex. This issue controls me, [instead of] me controlling it."

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Momma Elle writes:

Thank you so much for sending me your question. I am happy to help.

This is one of those questions that makes me have a lot of questions for you first, but I will try to answer your question. 

I am going to ask you some questions and if you can, comment to this post so I can help you better.

1^st,  are your thoughts about having sex with another adult and are these thoughts about generally normal sexual encounters that are mutually agreed upon?

2^nd, are you sexually active?

3^rd, what is the frequency of these thoughts?

So assuming that you are NOT having sex, and have never been sexually active and that you’re thinking a lot about sex. I am going to answer this question from this perspective.

FIRST OFF…sex is a physical need, just like food, sex is a physical need. If you are over the age of 14 for a male and 16 for a female (these are just generalities) your body wants sex. 

Some bodies want more sex than others, just like some bodies want more food than others. 

If you were hungry and denied your body food, you would begin to think about food all of the time.

So maybe you are just ‘normal’ and are experiencing ‘normal’ desires and thoughts about meeting your physical need for sex and since that need is not being met, you are getting to the point where you can’t stop thinking about sex, ,much like you wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about eating if you were starved, or drinking if you were parched.

Also please remember that everyone that is puberty and beyond thinks about sex and usually everyday! Again, some more than others, but mostly everyone does. 

Men usually think about sex first thing in the morning as they, just by the nature of their bodies, wake up with an erection. This is due to the blood beginning to pump harder through their entire body and thus creates an erection. This doesn't usually happen because of sexual desires, but those sexual desires happen nearly simultaneously.

Now, since you tell me that you ‘feel’ that you are thinking too much about sex, and that you ‘feel’ that these thoughts are controlling you. I am curious if this is a religious issue.

Many religions require one to be non-sexual outside of marriage. If this is part of your life, then I can understand completely why you are thinking about sex so much! You are thinking about sex so much because you have very real physical needs and you aren’t allowing yourself to meet them. If religion is the reason why you aren’t meeting your physical needs, I am sorry, but I cannot give you spiritual guidance.

Lastly???

I believe that:

Masturbation is a good way for an individual to meet their own physical needs for sexual satisfaction. This is normal, good and right and can be deeply satisfying.  

I also believe that 2 consenting adults who are in a deeply caring and committed relationship can enjoy each other sexually and this is normal, good and right.

Many religions put parameters on sexuality and limit sexual needs, wants and desires. If this is what you want to do and where you want to be in your life, then you need to follow what your religion wants you to do; otherwise your religion will tell you that you will be unhappy, sinful and bad.   

I don’t agree with this, but that is another post for another day.

Can the writer of this question please respond with more information???  As always, readers please feel free to share your thoughts with me. You can comment anonymously if you need to.

Summer Time SEX!

   We spend the entire winter waiting for summer and before we know it, we are donning our shorts and sandals and it is warm! 

Ahhh then we are sunning ourselves at the pool and in the backyard. Warmth and sun, shorts and bare skin make us feel really good about ourselves and the way we look…. we start feeling sexy and we want more time with our partners or we want to find a partner!

Summer is a great and summer sex is AWESOME!

Summer time sex can be loads of fun…. We feel freer and more open with our bodies, and we want to show them off and be with people that we care about!

Let’s talk about summer sex!

   This summer I want you to liven up your sex life! I want each and every one of you to have sex outside at least once!

How about....Sex in tents, Sex in your own back yard, Sex on your patio?  More ideas?

How about trying sex in areas other than your bedroom?

Sex in your living room with him sitting on the couch, you straddling his lap facing him? Sex on the stairs, tricky but silly and fun! Sex after a long day at the pool, beach or boating can be really lusty and fun.

Come on and try it! 

Liven up your summer and your love life!

Do you have any good summer sex stories? Share them with us! You can send your stories anonymously if you like! (see the send questions page)

Facebook reader Question: "How can I get my guy to stay in bed and cuddle after sex?"

This question is from a Sexy facebook Reader:

“Dear Momma Elle, after sex my boyfriend always has to jump up and wipe/wash off any fluids, he says they dry into his pubes and pull and make him itchy.

Since he's up, there's usually no cuddling or hanging out after sex, and I really like that part. Is there anything I can do to keep him in bed longer?”
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Dear Sexy Reader,

Several things come to my mind…

1. He is telling you straight up that he wants to get himself cleaned up so he will be more comfortable....but I am wondering why he doesn’t quickly come back to bed and snuggle.

2. Some guys just have an issue with body fluids and they just can’t deal with it…to them these fluids are yucky…sorry, his feelings about that probably won’t change much….again, why isn;t he coming back to bed to snuggle?

3. This is the hardest answer to deal with; he has a hard time with intimacy and the after-glow/after-party of sex is hard for him to handle.

Soooo I will give you several kinds of suggestions and we can see what starts working and try to narrow down what is the actual problem!

First?

Just ask him, say “Honey, come back here when you are done, I want to rub your shoulders (or back or whatever).” Or just ask him if he will come back to cuddle….I am assuming that you have already tried that and it didn’t work.

Next: You can try to see if he will do some waxing and trimming of those hairs…this is how I would suggest that you go about asking him to try waxing as most men are hardly ever willing to submit to waxing/shaving their junk and surrounding area without a good reason…a VERY good reason! Lol! So I am thinking that if you go get a nice Brazilian wax, he will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it…chances are you will too, they are very nice and feel oh so incredible in your jeans!!! (If you live in the Utah County/Salt Lake area I can recommend a great place to get waxed.)

Then after he has enjoyed your waxing, bring up the subject and talk about it… ask what he would think about getting some waxing and trimming? Waxing and trimming will really help when it comes to cleaning up after sex since he is so into that kind of thing.

Another idea: see how he responds if you jump up, get a warm, wet towel and come back to bed and sexily clean him off….he might stay in bed and hang out a little longer cuddling and loving…or you could get a towel and put it next to your bed when it looks like you might be going to have sex and either you wipe him off as part of your after-sex play or you can give the towel to him to wipe off.

Lastly, and this is one that I worry about the most, he just might not do well with the level of intimacy that happens after sex…after sex everything is all together and very intimate. Laying there with your partner, talking quietly, that is a very intimate act, some people just aren’t comfortable with that. If that is your guy’s issue, you will need to talk and be very clear about what you would like to happen after sex. You need to talk directly and with I statements and say exactly how you feel when he doesn’t come back to bed.  Then let him sweetly know what you need and expect from him.

Please let me know how my suggestions work for you….

Please write me back and let me know how this works!  *****   You can comment anonymously here on the website!

HAVE MORE SEX!

Here is a reason to have sex!

Those people who have sex, have a longer sex life as they get older! 

 This is according to marriage therapist Michele Weiner Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Wife: 

"The more you have sex, the more likely you'll be to continue to produce testosterone, one of the primary hormones responsible for sexual desire."


So how often are you having sex? Comment and let me know!
You can make your comments anonymous! Did you know?

I HATE complicated sex! Don’t you!??

A few months ago I did a poll and 25% of my SEXY Reader Girls said that they faked more orgasms than they had…..

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…not good!

SEXY Girls & SEXY Guys, let’s TALK!!!  

I HATE complicated sex! Don’t you!??

So many times we make sex so damn complicated; our guy isn’t doing what we want, or what he is doing isn't what we want…and  SOMETIMES,  believe it or not girls, we aren’t doing something in a way that our guy likes….

Why aren’t we talking to each other?    

If your guy is doing something that isn’t doing the trick for you, then distract him by trying a new position, then get in a position that will make good orgasms happen for you…..

THEN…. as you are laying there after the moment, talk, talk, talk to him, say “hunny, when you lick me like that it drives me crazy, or, the way you do that makes me cum so fast…”

Or vice versa SEXY Reader guys!!!

We just have to talk to each other because complicated, mediocre sex is sooo not fun!

I agree with Dr. Pepper Schwartz author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years.

- “Sex is the bond that repairs the wear and tear of life together!” 

QUESTION: "Does sex hurt the second time?

Question: I've only had sex once, and I'm wondering if it'll hurt the second time too?

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My answer: First I feel like I want to hug you for asking such a heartfelt question. I am sorry that sex hurt the first time, sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t.

When a girl has sex for the very first time, she can experience some pain, not always, but sometimes. This is usually due to the hymen tearing.

The hymen is a membrane inside the vagina that most baby girls are born with. Not all baby girls are born with a hymen, but most are. Whether you have/had one or not is no big deal. A hymen is a membrane of skin, kind of the consistency of an eyelid, yet only half as thick. A hymen does not fully close the vagina (the tunnel to the uterus) it is like a very thin donut that sits a few inches inside the vagina. This is called the hymenal ring. For some girls the opening is small and even a very thin tampon will cause some pain, for others the opening is larger and a tampon will not cause much pain, and then there are some girls who were not born with a hymen and for these girls tampon insertion and first-time sex rarely cause pain.

Here is a picture describing the location of the hymen and the hymenal ring. – the ‘mons pubis’ is the part of your ‘vagina’ (what most people call the whole thing down there) the ‘mons pubis’ is the uppermost part, the part of your vagina that is what can be seen at your belly. The ‘anus’ is at the bottom and is also called your rectum or your ‘poop hole’.

Okay after this lesson on anatomy, let’s get back to why you experienced pain on your first sexual encounter.

The other reason that there might be pain during the first sexual intercourse encounter is due to lack of lubrication. A women’s body is made to lubricate the vagina as she gets ‘turned on’ (aroused) during sex play/foreplay. Some men are so excited and eager that they do not give their partner enough time to get really aroused. Being new to sex, you might not have realized that your body was not ready. It takes a lot more than kissing and making out to get ready for intercourse.

1^st: Be prepared and have a condom ready. Always have a condom ready and keep them in your purse and your car and anywhere else you might think of being when you want to have sex. WHY? You can get all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases! Since you are new to sex, I would suggest the lubricated kind.

2^nd : You should seriously think about birth control as an unplanned pregnancy can really mess up your life. Look up Planned Parenthood and call them for an appointment.

3^rd: Learn about your body and what makes you feel good so that you can show your partner what feels good.

4^th: Never allow your partner to enter you until you are good and ready; in other words, until you are begging to be entered. If you wait until then, you are going to be pretty moist and then along with the lubricated condom, having sex, ( your partner being inside you) should go a lot better and be a LOT less painful.

Lastly I want to say that if your first encounter was forced or was accompanied by meanness and/or any unwillingness on your part, please message me again with your contact information so that we can talk privately.

I hope that I have helped you learn more about your body and sex, please message me back and let me know how your sexual encounters are going and if indeed sex hurt the second time or if my advice helped.

Remember to invite your friends to like my facebook page so that they don’t miss out on the discussions!

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