‘Concerning Oral Sex’ poll summary - VERY INTERESTING....

The ‘Concerning Oral Sex’ poll is closed now and I wanted to share with you what I found from the votes.

40% said that their partner is really good at oral sex.

             AWESOME and LUCKY!!!

20% said that their partner could really use some help at being good at oral sex.

            Ahhhh…yes, I agree, here is a few simple ideas to help you get started:

            For your woman, think of eating a ripe, juicy peach; do it tenderly and gently.

For your man, think of eating an ice cream cone; lots of licking with your tongue and mouth covering over the top. 

Sheesh! Get a room puppies!

20% are very sad that they don’t have a partner right now as they love, love, love oral sex!

Keep looking for that special partner!

20% said that they can’t GET enough oral sex.

Who does???

Fortunately there were ZERO votes for feeling that oral sex is a sin;

which is good because oral sex is very natural and normal and SEXY.

There were also ZERO votes for “I can’t GIVE enough oral sex”.

It would seem that we would rather get than give! Well I can understand that! Something that feels so good is always better to get then give……but remember, there is a way to get AND give at the same time, but it can be distracting! (69)

Note: According to a recent Discovery Health Network/Berman and Berman poll, 63% of all adult men and women wish they had oral sex more frequently, while nearly the same percentage (60%) indicate that giving and receiving oral sex is their favorite sexual behavior.

  

For more in depth instructions, try these 2 books!

Facebook reader Question: "How can I get my guy to stay in bed and cuddle after sex?"

This question is from a Sexy facebook Reader:

“Dear Momma Elle, after sex my boyfriend always has to jump up and wipe/wash off any fluids, he says they dry into his pubes and pull and make him itchy.

Since he's up, there's usually no cuddling or hanging out after sex, and I really like that part. Is there anything I can do to keep him in bed longer?”
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Dear Sexy Reader,

Several things come to my mind…

1. He is telling you straight up that he wants to get himself cleaned up so he will be more comfortable....but I am wondering why he doesn’t quickly come back to bed and snuggle.

2. Some guys just have an issue with body fluids and they just can’t deal with it…to them these fluids are yucky…sorry, his feelings about that probably won’t change much….again, why isn;t he coming back to bed to snuggle?

3. This is the hardest answer to deal with; he has a hard time with intimacy and the after-glow/after-party of sex is hard for him to handle.

Soooo I will give you several kinds of suggestions and we can see what starts working and try to narrow down what is the actual problem!

First?

Just ask him, say “Honey, come back here when you are done, I want to rub your shoulders (or back or whatever).” Or just ask him if he will come back to cuddle….I am assuming that you have already tried that and it didn’t work.

Next: You can try to see if he will do some waxing and trimming of those hairs…this is how I would suggest that you go about asking him to try waxing as most men are hardly ever willing to submit to waxing/shaving their junk and surrounding area without a good reason…a VERY good reason! Lol! So I am thinking that if you go get a nice Brazilian wax, he will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it…chances are you will too, they are very nice and feel oh so incredible in your jeans!!! (If you live in the Utah County/Salt Lake area I can recommend a great place to get waxed.)

Then after he has enjoyed your waxing, bring up the subject and talk about it… ask what he would think about getting some waxing and trimming? Waxing and trimming will really help when it comes to cleaning up after sex since he is so into that kind of thing.

Another idea: see how he responds if you jump up, get a warm, wet towel and come back to bed and sexily clean him off….he might stay in bed and hang out a little longer cuddling and loving…or you could get a towel and put it next to your bed when it looks like you might be going to have sex and either you wipe him off as part of your after-sex play or you can give the towel to him to wipe off.

Lastly, and this is one that I worry about the most, he just might not do well with the level of intimacy that happens after sex…after sex everything is all together and very intimate. Laying there with your partner, talking quietly, that is a very intimate act, some people just aren’t comfortable with that. If that is your guy’s issue, you will need to talk and be very clear about what you would like to happen after sex. You need to talk directly and with I statements and say exactly how you feel when he doesn’t come back to bed.  Then let him sweetly know what you need and expect from him.

Please let me know how my suggestions work for you….

Please write me back and let me know how this works!  *****   You can comment anonymously here on the website!

I HATE complicated sex! Don’t you!??

A few months ago I did a poll and 25% of my SEXY Reader Girls said that they faked more orgasms than they had…..

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…not good!

SEXY Girls & SEXY Guys, let’s TALK!!!  

I HATE complicated sex! Don’t you!??

So many times we make sex so damn complicated; our guy isn’t doing what we want, or what he is doing isn't what we want…and  SOMETIMES,  believe it or not girls, we aren’t doing something in a way that our guy likes….

Why aren’t we talking to each other?    

If your guy is doing something that isn’t doing the trick for you, then distract him by trying a new position, then get in a position that will make good orgasms happen for you…..

THEN…. as you are laying there after the moment, talk, talk, talk to him, say “hunny, when you lick me like that it drives me crazy, or, the way you do that makes me cum so fast…”

Or vice versa SEXY Reader guys!!!

We just have to talk to each other because complicated, mediocre sex is sooo not fun!

I agree with Dr. Pepper Schwartz author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years.

- “Sex is the bond that repairs the wear and tear of life together!” 

Women SURPRISE me!

Every year Maxim Magazine does a survery does a survey and asks nearly 8,000 women a boatload of questions. 

I am not sure where they find these women, but some of the responses surprised me!                                               

Here they are:

First-time sex should be...
Gentle as a summer breeze 56.9%
Like riding a bronco on a roller coaster 43.1%

Which celebrity is your "type"?
James Franco 38.8%
Ryan Reynolds 48.6% - OK! OK! OK! I will take Ryan over James, but just barely!!!
Jason Schwartzman 8.6%
Kayne West 1.6%
Marck Sanchez 5.9%
DJ Pauly D 1.4%

The most popular position, with 31% of the vote, is doggie style.
Other options:
Missionary 23.8%
Girl on top 27.1%
Reverse cowgirl 2.2%
Spooning 4.7%
Standing 2.5%
69 1.6%
Other 6.1%: My legs over his shoulders.

When is it OK for a guy to make a move?
Whenever, as long as he's sure I'm into him 71.3%
Only at the end of the first date 7.6%
Only after two or more dates 17.1%
I prefer to make the first move 4.1%

23%of women have had—and enjoyed—anal sex.

The below didn’t surprise me!

What is the best oral sex technique?
Switching up speed and pressure 27%
Making the same motion over and over, with consistent speed and pressure 17.5
One that incorporates your fingers 34.3%
I'm not fussy. Just get down there 16.5%
Other 4.7%

Which of the following is most likely to bring you to orgasm?
Oral sex 44.1%
Nipple sucking and fondling 8.8%
P in your V 35.8%
A third season of Glee 1.8%
Other 9.5%: "Just thinking." | "Clit stimulation: fingers or tongue." | Finger-banging." | "My vibrator. Love a man who isn't scared of it.

What do you think? 
Did you know that you can comment anonymously?

What is normal sex and what does normal sex mean?

I recently got the below comment:

"Momma Elle, I work is a job where I talk (very publicly) to parents and professionals about sex abuse issues, but interestingly enough the topic often turns to "normal" sexual interactions.

There SO much NEED and want for what is normal.

People are getting an extremely convoluted idea of what sex is or should be and try to live up to unrealistic expectations.

What I've learned is that men are only taught how to satisfy themselves, and don't understand that sometimes it takes a LOT more than just intercourse for a woman to climax which proves frustrating for both.

And on the flip side of that, women are not taught that they should be satisfied and climax during each sexual interaction. Which is a shame, because women can achieve the rare gift of multiple orgasms and they don't even know it.

I wish more women would insist on sexual encounters that provide orgasm for both partners and I wish more men would take the time to learn how to make a woman climax.

Just think how many relationships may be saved by understanding those very simple things.

Thank you for page and insights. Keep those discussions going!"
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Response from Momma Elle: Again, I really appreciate the above insight that was sent to me completely anonymously through my 'Send QUESTION' tab.

SEX: What is normal and what does normal mean?

I am going to say that normal sex, is most any kind of sex that people engage in 'where all partners agree to the acts'.

Sooooo that opens up a lot of territory!

Is gay sex normal? YES!

Is lesbian sex normal? YES!

Is three-way sex normal? YES!

Is an orgie normal? YES!

Is always missionary-style straight sex normal? YES!

Is straight sex on your washing machine normal? YES!

Is oral sex normal? YES!

Is anal sex normal? YES!

Is sex with children normal? NO! NO! NO! They cannot agree unless they are of a certain age and that age is defined by law. So I am going to say that there are some sex acts that are not normal and I really don't think we need to go there.

Now that we got that cleared up, let's move on....

My idea of normal sex is different from neighbor’s idea of normal sex. Please do not compare your sex life to another person's sex life. If you are sexually satisfied AND your partner is sexually satisfied, then you are having a HAPPY sex life!

If you are not happy and satisfied with your sex life, then it is important to do some soul searching.

Start by asking these questions to yourself:

What am I actually unhappy about?
Frequency of sexual encounters? Lack of variety in sex acts?
Satisfaction is lacking? Boredom setting in? No sex?
(see my discussion post on masturbation).

If I could have any sexual encounter right now, what would I want it to be like? Where would I want it to be? Who would I want it to be with?

Remember sex is all about relationships, nearly 100% that way for females, if you are female and unhappy with your sexual relationship, you might be unhappy with your relationship all together.

For most, a great sexual relationship starts with a great relationship. It is important to feel safe and cared for no matter what sex you are.

All you ladies out there deserve good oral sex!

<(Typography pin-up girl by Taylor Lane)


I got this question a month ago...I think it deserves posting again!

Anonymous Question: “How do I get my guy to give me more oral? I always feel selfish asking for it.”

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Momma Elle answers: Why do you feel selfish? Does he act like giving you ‘oral’ is a chore?

(ok I have to say something here…I wouldn’t want to do ‘ORAL’ either, this word just sounds way too clinical to me, so use another phrase to describe it, something like, ‘when you kiss my sweet pussy’ or when you lick my soft thighs and other parts, think up several phrases )……

Now, If we were talking over the phone on my radio talk show, I could ask more questions….so, let me answer this in 2 ways:

1.) I will assume that he doesn’t exactly act really excited about giving you oral. That means that you have to have one of ‘THOSE’ talks…

sorry, there is no way around it….but here is how you have a talk about sex….

Make sure that you and him have some uninterrupted time for some really hot satisfying sex…I mean the kind that you just lay on top of each other trying to catch your breath when it is over.

Now after you lay there, remember that you planned for uninterrupted time; you lay in his arms and you say, “Wow, that was amazing, you're a really hot lover. You do so many things to me that make me just want to scream with pleasure!” he will have some kind of response to this. He might even ask you something like, “oh yeah, what?” this would be incredibly perfect if he says this because now you can say, “well for instance and you haven’t done this in a few weeks, but when you lick and kiss my sweet pussy, make sure you sandwich talking about ‘kissing pussy’ with a few of the other things that he is really good at…..

now this gets the conversation moving and the two of you talking about it. With your encouragement, he will be thinking about this. As this conversation continues, you need to find out if he actually enjoys being between your thighs, if he doesn’t you need to find out why. Now don’t get your feelings hurt by his answer, just message me what his answer is and we will talk more about what to do with the answer.

2.) He loves sex so much and he loves spending time between your thighs, but he just doesn’t stop to take the time to worship your body in a way that is slow and satisfying. So if your sex life is good and the two of you have a good report, then make a game of it, make a bet with him about anything and if you win then that is your ‘prize’. Send him a sexy text, something like ; “hmmmm I am thinking about you kissing my sweet pussy” etc….

3.) Lastly, NEVER, I repeat, NEVER feel selfish asking for something that feels good and satisfying to you; he wouldn’t, if your guy wanted the same and had been thinking about it for a while, he would ask you and NOT FEEL GUILTY for a second! So don’t you feel guilty at all.

Question: "I want to be a good husband and make sure my wife orgasms."

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