SEXY Reader Asks: “How can I tell if my girl has orgasmed? She is the quiet type.”

-------------

Thanks for asking me this, I bet a lot of partners have this question....

I am happy to help because I want you and your partner to have great sex and you can’t have great sex with such questions banging around in your head! You need the confidence of knowing that what you do excites her, turns her on and brings her to orgasm!

The first thing that I would say to you is, ‘if you have to ask, she probably isn’t’, but no worries because I am here to help you!

This is what I want you to do…plan a time together SOON for the two of you, away from distractions and away from the day. That might be easy or not depending on your situation…but make this happen this week! OK?

Now, plan for a great sex session during this time that you have arranged….when you are together I want you to focus on her, and focus on her sexually. I want you to seduce her and make her get excited about what you are doing! 

First, start undressing her, then touch her, everywhere…start focusing on her sensitive places and places that make her moist and excited.

Now start talking to her while you are touching her…tell her how pretty she is, how sexy and pretty her girlie parts are…..then watch her, you are going to watch her and keep watching her for signs of excitement and then orgasm. 

This session is not about you right now, this is about you being able to watch her and see what her reactions are to your touching and fondling and then to see if you can tell when she orgasms.

Use your hands and your fingers and your mouth on her sweet soft parts especially the ones that are between her legs, remember her nipples on occasion. I want you to watch to see how moist she gets, as she gets moist, watch and see her reaction to the other things that YOU are doing to her. When she gets moister that means that she is turned on by what you are doing…DO MORE of it! Then keep doing these things and watch for her breath to get more rapid, her body to arch into your hands and mouth, get her to the point that she literally cums in your hands. You will know that she has orgasmed when your hands get really wet from her juices, her breathing gets really quick her body is arching and then, WOW! She cums, your hands are wet, her breathing calms down and she looks satisfied….YOU HAVE TO WATCH for these things….

Now I know that during all of this, you have been really turned on, sorry, this session wasn’t about you really, well it kind of is, but now you hold her, tell her how wonderful it made you feel to watch her, then after 4-5 minutes start touching her again, she will respond…or at least her body will, women can be multi-orgasmic, then when she is getting more excited tell her that you have to be inside her, enter her and finish together….

What this has shown you is how she responds, I want you to touch her until you are convinced that she has cum, this is very important. If she hasn’t been orgasming, then it is very important for you to find this out. She needs to be enjoying and cumming from your lovemaking.

Write me back and tell me how all of this went, you might have had all of your questions answered from this session or you might have a LOT more questions afterwards…

It will be okay, I will help you get this worked out….

Women are not taught that they should be satisfied......

Hey all you SEXY FANS!!!  

I received this statement from a SEXY FAN not too long ago: “Women aren't taught they should be satisfied and climax (reach orgasm) during each sexual interaction. This is a shame because women can achieve the rare gift of multiple orgasms and they don't even know it. 

I wish more women would insist on sexual encounters that provide orgasm for both partners and I wish more men would take the time to learn how to make a woman climax.

Just think how many relationships may be saved by understanding those very simple things. Thank you for your page and insights. Keep those discussions going!”

----

This is very insightful and I want to talk about it for a few moments…..

In one of my earlier polls, I found that roughly 30% of my female SEXY FANS ‘faked more orgasms than they actually had’. Girls, this is not okay…women are beautiful, sensual, soft, wonderful creatures and it is so important that we feel pleasure and ORGASMS!

For nearly every woman; having orgasms starts with being comfortable with your sexuality, that means understanding that you are a sexual being, that having sexy thoughts, feelings, dreams and fantasies are a good, natural and wonderful thing.

It also means knowing and understanding your own body. Women, learn what your clitoris (clit) is, know what your labia (outer and inner lips) are and understand that your vagina is actually the entrance to your uterus (womb). Your ‘entire’ vagina/va-jay-jay/pussy/etc. is called a vulva….isn’t that a nice word?

Again I say to you, get to know yourself, get to know your vulva, feel how soft your vulva is, feel where all your parts are, learn how you feel as you touch them, can you touch yourself in a way that brings you pleasure? If not, why not? Think about this…ok?

Also learn what your normal scent is, learn to enjoy your normal scent. Be OK with your normal scent, it is your God-given scent and it is wonderful! Ignore the billion dollar industry that tells you that your normal scent is yukky! They have lied to you to make money off of you!

Know when you ovulate, know what is a good contraception for you, (did you know that some bc pills, iud’s and many other bc’s with hormones can actually reduce your sex drive?).

Now is YOUR SEXY TIME!!! Don’t let your mom, your religion, your anything tell you not explore, feel, and touch yourself to find your pleasure places! Please expect pleasure!

Remember - if this post has helped or touched you, comment anonymously and let me know, and as always, invite your friends to ‘like’ my facebook page….we don’t want them missing out!

All you ladies out there deserve good oral sex!

<(Typography pin-up girl by Taylor Lane)


I got this question a month ago...I think it deserves posting again!

Anonymous Question: “How do I get my guy to give me more oral? I always feel selfish asking for it.”

----------

Momma Elle answers: Why do you feel selfish? Does he act like giving you ‘oral’ is a chore?

(ok I have to say something here…I wouldn’t want to do ‘ORAL’ either, this word just sounds way too clinical to me, so use another phrase to describe it, something like, ‘when you kiss my sweet pussy’ or when you lick my soft thighs and other parts, think up several phrases )……

Now, If we were talking over the phone on my radio talk show, I could ask more questions….so, let me answer this in 2 ways:

1.) I will assume that he doesn’t exactly act really excited about giving you oral. That means that you have to have one of ‘THOSE’ talks…

sorry, there is no way around it….but here is how you have a talk about sex….

Make sure that you and him have some uninterrupted time for some really hot satisfying sex…I mean the kind that you just lay on top of each other trying to catch your breath when it is over.

Now after you lay there, remember that you planned for uninterrupted time; you lay in his arms and you say, “Wow, that was amazing, you're a really hot lover. You do so many things to me that make me just want to scream with pleasure!” he will have some kind of response to this. He might even ask you something like, “oh yeah, what?” this would be incredibly perfect if he says this because now you can say, “well for instance and you haven’t done this in a few weeks, but when you lick and kiss my sweet pussy, make sure you sandwich talking about ‘kissing pussy’ with a few of the other things that he is really good at…..

now this gets the conversation moving and the two of you talking about it. With your encouragement, he will be thinking about this. As this conversation continues, you need to find out if he actually enjoys being between your thighs, if he doesn’t you need to find out why. Now don’t get your feelings hurt by his answer, just message me what his answer is and we will talk more about what to do with the answer.

2.) He loves sex so much and he loves spending time between your thighs, but he just doesn’t stop to take the time to worship your body in a way that is slow and satisfying. So if your sex life is good and the two of you have a good report, then make a game of it, make a bet with him about anything and if you win then that is your ‘prize’. Send him a sexy text, something like ; “hmmmm I am thinking about you kissing my sweet pussy” etc….

3.) Lastly, NEVER, I repeat, NEVER feel selfish asking for something that feels good and satisfying to you; he wouldn’t, if your guy wanted the same and had been thinking about it for a while, he would ask you and NOT FEEL GUILTY for a second! So don’t you feel guilty at all.