A Facebook reader sent me this question: "How does a man talk dirty without being raunchy and what do I say to make my woman feel sexy?"
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My Answer: Start out tame and simple…..Every woman wants to feel that her partner only has eyes for her and finds her incredibly sexy………..
But, you have to put your talking to action….you can’t tell her, ‘every time I see your @ss in those jeans I want to take you in the bedroom and make you scream’ and then not follow through….
Sooo, start simple and tame….and definitely take it up a notch regularly until you are at a place that seems to work for the enjoyment of you both.
Tame: don't using clinical names, you are an adult now, it isn’t a penis and it isn’t a vagina, dirty talk isn’t dirty talk when you use clinical names.
Don’t use ‘dick’ either….think about what would be good names for you to call all the parts. This is different for different people, what I like and what my guy likes to hear might be different than you and your girl/guy. BUT, don’t go for the wild just yet, use common names that are tame.
Girls: Pussy, tender places, sweet folds, etc.
Guys: cock, hard on, organ, etc.
Actions: lick, suck, cum, screw, spank, squeeze, wet, moist, etc….
Start with a note, a text... not face to face during sex.... when you start with texts, notes and emails you can see how your 'dirty talk' is being received without feeling the embarrassment of face to face. I like sending dirty text messages. Emails are ok too as long as you DON’T send them to or from a work email. You can leave a message under the pillow or on top of their pj’s in the drawer, again start out tame and simple.
Then move onto some face to face during sex, again, start simple and tame.
Very short statements about what you would like to do to your partner are a good start and an easy way to judge their reaction.
Sending short, sexy, dirty statements to your lover tells them that you find them sexy and exciting. If it doesn’t then they aren’t responding to the phrases that you are using, so try different statements.
remember you have to do the things you are saying you want to….start tame and build up over the course of a month…
After you have tried this for a week or so, try it face to face in bed, whisper dirty talk in your partners ear....
Also…talking dirty to her is about her….not about you…it is about making her feel sexy….
In all of the above, WATCH for the reaction of your partner. Watch to see if they are responding to what you are saying, how they are responding.
Watching is so important... watch for the response to what you say and what you do, if you want a good sex life, you will give good sex.
The only way you can give good sex is to watch for the response of your partner. When you see that they enjoy, like, love what you are saying or doing, then do more of it, if you aren’t seeing that they are enjoying what you are doing or saying, then try something different.
My take:
Many are really unsure about masturbation....
soooo... let's talk a bit!
First thing I have to say is this; many people have a high sexual need, this need is a physical need.
There are some for whom this 'need' is overboard and excessive and would be considered unhealthy.
On the high end, a person who needs sex 4-5 times a week or pretty near that is healthy, very healthy imho (in my humble opinion). On the low side 1-2 times a week is still healthy.
I believe that needs are each individual's responsibility.
In other words, if you have a strong need for sex and your partner is not willing nor available, for what ever reason, your need is your responsibility. Do NOT blame your partner for your need not being met. It is YOUR need. ( I am NOT saying don't talk about this if it becomes an issue)
Does this give you an excuse to go out and meet that need with anyone else? NO, NO, NO!
What I am trying to explain is this: if you are being grouchy, irritable, rude, mean, bitchy, etc...all because you have a really strong sexual need that is not being met, it is no one's fault that your need is not being met.
Soooo.....by all means, meet that need in a quiet, private way...whether you are a guy or a girl.
If you have questions on that, please send those questions my way!
Invite your friends to LIKE my facebook page and let Momma Elle, Elle - Avate your sex life!
