Facebook Reader Question: “Does sex hurt?”

Facebook Reader Question:  “Does Sex hurt?”

Momma Elle says: Thank you for asking this question. 

Venus-Boticelli

I appreciate the opportunity to give you answers to your questions!

I can understand how scary sex can seem, especially if no one has really talked with you about it.

When a young woman starts thinking about liking boys and wanting boyfriends and then getting older and entering into a sexual relationship, whether married or not, the subject of sex starts getting very interesting and maybe even scary!

If you live in a culture that does not allow sex before marriage, and usually this means that girls are virgins before marriage more than boys,  the first sexual encounter for a young woman would be after she is married. It also means that her husband is usually VERY inexperienced. 

This combination can cause problems and make sex seem difficult, painful…and well, just generally NOT fun!

I don’t like that at all! Sex can be and should be fun, pleasurable and enjoyable!

When you are beginning to have your first sexual encounters, never allow his penis or anything else for that matter, to enter your vagina until you really, really want it to.   It takes foreplay to get you to this point. 

Foreplay is the beginning of a sexual encounter, where your partner rubs your sensitive parts, your vagina, your nipples, your mouth and anywhere else that ‘turns you on’. At this time you might feel like touching your partner the same way too.  The more foreplay that you engage in, the more excited and ‘turned on’ you become. This makes your vagina moist and ready for a penis to enter. It is also important to use a good lubricant made especially for sex. This helps with the insertion and that also helps with any pain the first and second time.

Foreplay also involves kissing and licking, oral sex is very enjoyable and can be experimented with too.

Finally before you engage in any sexual encounters, make sure that you have condoms available to protect you both from diseases and you from pregnancy. 

Most importantly if you are going to have regular sex, go to a local planned parenthood and get a good birth control. I like the shot that lasts for 3 months as there is no way that you can forget to take it, and all you have to do is go back to Planned Parenthood every 3 months for another one.

Birth Control is very, very important as it is completely unfair to bring a baby into the world when the mother is young and unable to financially or emotionally support a baby.

I want you to remember that sexual feelings are normal and natural and are OK!!! You are not bad for feeling these feelings.

Please write me back and let me know how things are working out for you!