Facebook Reader Question: “I want to talk dirty....."

Facebook Reader Question:  “I want to talk dirty but I don't know how to start. I don't want to say something stupid or say too much..."

ASK Momma Elle - Sex Talk with Momma Elle On Facebook

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I answered:  

I love, love, LOVE dirty talk, so this question is a lot of fun!

Start simple and tame. But definitely take it up a notch regularly until you are at a place that seems to work for the enjoyment of you both.

Tame: stop using clinical names, you are an adult now, it isn’t a penis and it isn’t a vagina, dirty talk isn’t dirty talk with the clinical names.

Don’t use ‘dick’ either….think about good names for you to call all the parts. This is different for different people, what I like and what my guy likes to hear might be different than you and your girl/guy. BUT, don’t go for the wild just yet, use names that are tame.

Girls: P*ssy, tender places, sweet folds, etc.

Guys: c*ck, hard on, organ, etc.

Actions: lick, suck, cum, screw, spank, squeeze, wet, moist, etc….

Simple: start with a note, a text, not face to face during sex. You can see how what you are saying is being received. I like sending dirty text messages. Emails are ok too as long as you DON’T send them to work email!

Sending short, sexy, dirty statements to your lover tells them that you find them sexy and exciting. If it doesn’t, then they aren’t responding to the phrases that you are using, so try different statements.

After you start with texts or notes, then move onto some face to face during sex, again, start simple and tame.

Very short statements about what you would like to do to your partner are a good start and an easy way to judge their reaction. EVERYONE wants to know that they are wanted!

After you have tried this for a week or so, try it face to face in bed, whisper it in your partners ear, or leave a message under the pillow or on top of their pj’s in the drawer, again start out tame and simple.

In all of the above, WATCH for the reaction of your partner. Watch to see if they are responding to what you are saying, how they are responding.

Watching is so important, watch for the response to what you say and what you do, if you want a good sex life, you will give good sex. The only way you can give good sex is to watch for the response of your partner. When you see that they enjoy, like, love what you are saying or doing, then do more of it, if you aren’t seeing that they are enjoying what you are doing or saying, then try something different.

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